I don't know why I'm having all these problems. Why do I deserve this?

I think about suicide everyday, now, but I haven't started cutting or anything. I've become very restrictive in what I eat, and only eat once a day, if that.

Medi-cal won't cover my manic depression medication, and my other meds have stopped working for me.

If things keep continuing to spiral downhill, I don't know where I'll end up...